What you
gonna do when you cannot start a conversation?
Sit and
smile?
Or force
yourself to start a conversation?
But there
is no use of forcing yourself. Because it will make your conversation even more
complex and fake.
So, there
should be a time when you just start a conversation or and lead it till the
point when you have noting to say to each other. Your can feel that point.
Usually it is called as ‘an uncomfortable silence’. You don’t know what to say
and still feel like leaving the person who you talk to but still feel uneasy to
leave because it might look impolite.
The best
way is to leave with some reasonable excuse. Saying that you are in hurry and looking
forward to see him/his in the future.
What if you
want to talk to but the person is not in the mood of talking to?
Firstly, better
to be careful with questions
Secondly, ask
couple of questions which are designed to set the mood of the conversation. If
the questions or so called ‘openers’ will work, then carry on with it. If the
openers cant open up the conversation, you better stop and try to talk in the
next time when the person will be in the upbeat mood.
Anyway, it
is difficult to build a proper constructive conversation.
Constructive
conversation is a result of well-planned, structured way of conversing with
someone. It needs high level of both educational and personal qualities. By the
educational qualities, I mean the level of education, level of thinking,
academic, well-informed and intelligent person. By the personal qualities, I
mean such qualities as one’s ability to understand the person’s mood, setting
appropriate vibes, and interpersonal communication, verbal and in-verbal channel
of communication. The best fusion of both abovementioned qualities will set
proper constructive conversation, which is characteristic for intelligent
person, or say, gentleman.
However, we
should always bear in our minds that the constructive conversation is difficult
for beginners therefore it needs time and efforts to work on it.
There are
four reasons why we should develop constructive conversation
- Human communication is
inevitable - Human communication is irrseversible
- Human communication is complex
- Human communication is
contextual
Among the above
stated four communications aspects I stress the first two which are the basic
reasons for building well educated and intelligent constructive conversation. Because
the conversation is inevitable and, especially, irreversible it needs to be
properly planned and at the same time be flexible with different variations and
end results orientations. In order not to make mistakes and receive unwanted results
it is much better to plan your conversation in advance by collecting
information about the person who you are going to talk to and what you are
going to ask of and what he is going to ask about you. Therefore, it is
necessary to prepare relevant and exact answers for the questions. It also is
important to structure certain follow-up questions which would help you to develop
the conversation and acquire extra information.
We have to
understand that for this sort of conversation one has to be well-educated, well
– informed, well-mannered and intelligent. It will widen your personal communication
skills and be in that group of people who are like you.
When you
start a conversation, you have to be friendly and sincere. Because, sincerity
attracts people and attracts the sincere people. Sincerely asking of how she/he
feeling, the, if you have not seen her/him for a very long time, just remember
how she/he feels, what’s up and all that stuff.
People need
attention. Human being likes being paid attention. Because almost everyone is
an egoist to certain extent. The thing is that some people like to show their
selfish attitudes and some don’t. Some people like call attention of others.
Some do not. That’s the point. But, overall, everyone is selfish and egoist. The
ones who hide their selfish thoughts do so consciously due to humane, ethical,
moral, religious, social or any other rules and limitations.
During the constructive
conversation it is crucial to remember that. As everyone like him/herself they
like to tell about themselves: their lives, their achievements and their goals.
They areready to tell about themselves for hours.
We have to
remember that.
Constructive
conversation is difficult. It needs time and efforts to learn and to build your
own style. Step-by-step learning and studying your own mistakes and
achievements.
If you
learnt how to build constructive conversation, please, tell me how J
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